DEAR SAM
Grieving the Death of My Son
By Janet Torge
A knock on the door, one Wednesday morning, by two Montreal detectives turned Janet’s world into chaos. The day before, her son, Sam, had died in Ghana from cerebral malaria and the police were sent by the Department of Foreign Affairs to inform her of the news.
Like anyone who has suddenly lost a partner, a child, a parent, Janet was thrust into sadness and emotional turmoil. During the first few weeks, she began to panic that she would forget Sam. She looked at photos, but could not remember his voice. She would remember words he used, but could not conjure up expressions on his face. One night, she decided to write him a letter and found that the words, “Dear Sam”, brought him near in a way nothing else could.
And so the book began.
As her letters took shape, she would sometimes finish one, and sense that Sam had something to say in response. His letters came from a voice she had not known before. He was still her son, but had changed upon dying: he was at ease discussing difficult topics, he could spell, he had a handle on things his mother could not grasp.
Their letters back and forth describe the emotional landscape of grief – the struggle of a mother to accept the death of her son, and the love of her son to see her through it.
This is not a how-to guide for grieving. DEAR SAM explores, in first person, the stark reality of learning to live with a death in the family. It’s lessons are few, but important: Going insane is part of the deal. Memories which initially bring tears and sadness will eventually bring smiles and warmth.
Neither sentimental nor preachy, DEAR SAM is unlike any book currently available to people dealing with grief. It’s intimacy, humour and honesty bring a unique perspective to a subject that will touch all of us at some point in our lives.
DEAR SAM received the Publisher’s Choice selection from iUniverse for excellence in editorial and design quality. It can be purchased on-line at iuniverse.com, amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com